


Twenty One Steps

by stellare



Category: Glee
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 22:55:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellare/pseuds/stellare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ve never seen you take this off,” Kurt murmurs, his fingers gliding across Adam’s collarbone, lightly scratching at the small bronze pendant resting just above his heart. “Is there a story behind it?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twenty One Steps

It’s still early.

The morning quiet settles into his bones, pressing his limbs down with a slow, lazy weight. Before he even opens his eyes, he instinctively tries to curl up his left arm - no go, there’s a warm, welcome heaviness on that side. He shifts, rolling onto his left, and cracks an eye open.

Ah.

And smiles at the sight.

It shouldn’t surprise him anymore. With the additions of Brody and their high school friend Santana, Kurt and Rachel’s apartment has been becoming steadily more crowded, which leaves Kurt staying over at Adam’s at least twice a week. And while he’s somewhat gotten used to the image of Kurt curled up on the sofa with a cup of tea and a book, or bustling around Adam’s kitchen throwing together a quick dinner, there’s still something odd about seeing his boyfriend asleep next to him, nestled up to the very same pillows and hogging the very same sheets – odd, but not by any means unpleasant.

It’s all very domestic really, and the thought makes his smile new again as he leans forward and drops a kiss to Kurt’s temple and gently whispers for him to wake up.

He can only laugh when Kurt responds with a very put-off grunt and attempts to disappear into the sheets yet again, burying his face in his arms. Then Adam grasps Kurt’s bare shoulder, his fingers warming at the touch, and shakes. “While I’m flattered to have rendered you too exhausted to function, we’ve got work today, sweetheart.”

“ _You_ have work,” is Kurt’s answer, a grumpy, muffled sound.

“As do you,” Adam says, unimpressed. Then he ruffles Kurt’s hair – that, more than anything else, is bound to get him up, even if said hair is – well, bedhead rather than his usually flawless coif.

Sure enough, Kurt shifts, his face turning toward Adam. His eyes are still scrunched in the corners, sweet and adorable. Then he shoots Adam a wry, sleepy smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Adam says, and he can’t resist pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s mouth. “You finally awake?”

“Mmm.” Kurt leans up for another kiss, bringing his arms around Adam’s neck. It’s perfect, this. It’s slow and searching and Kurt tastes like everything wonderful – like life and home and sweetness and _Kurt._

And part of Adam thinks that he maybe doesn’t deserve this – doesn’t deserve this amazing life in the city of his dreams, doesn’t deserve the gorgeous, talented, incredible boy in his arms because given his history, this is probably bound to fail – 

But then again, just maybe it isn’t.

And when Kurt presses him down into the pillows and oh how did he end up on top? – Adam finds himself a little breathless at the change in position and at Kurt’s mouth hovering just above his neck. Then Kurt’s mischievously grinning down at him, the _minx_.

“Now I’m awake,” he says innocently, and Adam positively groans – Kurt Hummel will be the death of him.

Soft fingertips stroke along his neck and shoulders, a gentle but firm pressure, slowly spreading warmth from the points of contact to the tips of his toes. Adam closes his eyes for just a moment, allowing himself to relish in the feeling.

And then Kurt’s fingers glide across his collarbone, lightly scratching at the small bronze pendant resting just above Adam’s heart. “5021.” He reads, then drops his voice to a murmur. “I’ve never seen you take this off. Is there a story behind it?”

There it is. There’s still that little pinch in his chest when someone asks about it. At least now it’s not a bone-crushing pain. It’s been four years, and he thinks that maybe this is progress. The wound isn’t there anymore, but the scar… That’s there to stay. “Would you believe me if I said this was a token of a torrid love affair when I was on holiday in Rome?”

“I – really?” Kurt asks incredulously, and he just looks so stunned that Adam has to stifle a laugh.

“No on the torrid, yes on the love affair,” he continues, bringing up a hand to affectionately pet down Kurt’s spine. “And it did happen in Rome, yes.”

“Care to tell me about it?”

“It’s not all that exciting, I promise you.”

“You know what’s _really_ not all that exciting? Tessero’s history of theatre class,” Kurt deadpans.

Adam laughs. “Alright, you got me. I can share over breakfast.”

\---

_Five o’clock. Twenty one steps. If I’m there, I’m yours._

_One, two, three. Adam makes his way up the Spanish Steps. He stops on the twenty-first. It’s five o’clock. Five o’clock gives way to five-fifteen. Then five-thirty. Six o’clock._

_At six-forty five Adam sits on the twenty-first step, surrounded by strangers, and he is utterly, completely alone._

\---

He’ll wonder later if he did the wise thing in telling Kurt – at least a small, scared part of him will wonder – but that part is enough to gnaw at him from the inside out.

He probably shouldn’t have those doubts. Kurt is amazing – he’s patient and attentive while Adam tells his story, and his eyes – his eyes honest to god _hurt_ as if he’s the one who’s experienced that pain, not Adam, and it’s enough to make the pinch in his chest swell into short, stabbing pains as he dredges up the memory. But as quickly as they appear, those pangs also steadily ebb away as he sits through his classes, sings with the Apples, gets his afternoon black tea.

Holds Kurt’s hand on their way to the subway station.

And after all that, he wonders if it even matters, that memory of Rome.

Maybe it does. After all, no memory is worth forgetting, not even bad ones. Not even rejections.

He’ll just keep this locked away, take it out when he needs to remember it – like now – remember the hurt, remember the heartbreak – then he’ll put it right back.

He’ll cover it up with newer memories. Nicer ones.

And at that moment, Kurt rests his head on Adam’s shoulder, sighing happily.

Something like that.

\---

Eventually that memory of Rome is the last thing on his mind. He still wears the necklace of course – nothing builds character like flawed experiences, he’s always said.

So when Kurt asks him to stay behind and help him with some steps for ballroom, he thinks nothing of it, glad to help his boyfriend and fellow artist with technique. When Kurt’s glancing up at the clock every five minutes as the end of the hour approaches, he thinks nothing of it – except maybe to wonder if he’d forgotten to set the DVR to record the showing of the Les Mis 25th anniversary.

Even when Kurt suggests that they take the long route out of the building once they’re done with practice – well that might be a bit strange, but Adam’s not fussed.

In fact, it’s not until they’re making their way down the staircase outside of the theaters and Kurt stops him halfway down – well now that’s a _lot_ strange.

“Kurt?” he begins. “What’s going on?”

Kurt’s eyes drift to the bottom of the staircase, then they shift up and up, his lips rounding around mouthed words.

Numbers, Adam realizes. He’s counting.

When Kurt’s eyes finally land on his feet, he clicks on his cell phone to check the time. “It’s now five o’clock. Twenty-one steps.”

A wave of all kinds of emotion crashes over Adam, leaving him completely gutted, head over feet, floating, disoriented – but above all, like he’s cared for.

Kurt shoots him an apologetic smile before reaching out to lace Adam’s fingers with his own. “I know it’s a little contrived, but I’m a hopeless romantic. Sue me if I wanted to give you a nicer – maybe better – memory to accompany that necklace.”

Now he knows he doesn’t deserve this. What person in their right mind could be so positive and thoughtful with him? It’s more than making completely new memories – it’s adding onto old ones – not fixing them or replacing them, but making them a little less bitter, making his world a little bit brighter.

Something heavy and warm and wonderful settles into his chest. He feels like his throat is about to close up, like his head is about to burst because really, there’s no denying it anymore – 

“Adam?” Kurt laughs nervously, taking a step backward. “I guess this was a bad idea. I just thought – ” 

“God I love you,” Adam says breathlessly.

Kurt stares at him, shocked. Okay, so this is the first time Adam’s actually uttered those words, but they were going to come out sooner or later – why is he so surprised? Then he smiles, happy and just a touch excited. “Really?”

“I do,” he says, letting go of Kurt’s hands only to step closer and carefully cup Kurt’s face. Those blue eyes are beautiful and warm and filled with affection – for Adam, just for Adam. “Sometimes I think you’re too good to be true. But here you are.”

“Here I am,” Kurt agrees. “And I love you.”

Now the words _If I’m there, I’m yours_ don’t hurt so much because this new memory – this is a sure thing. No ifs, no uncertainties, no false hopes.

It’s five o’clock on the twenty-first step. This time, he’s not alone.

It’s five o’clock on the twenty-first step. This time, he is loved.


End file.
